Dear God,
I am a coward. I am isolating myself from Your people.
I am scared because I don't wish to feel the emotions that are brought by the pain that is present at these times.
I want to love. I want to be with Your family, but I'm hindered because of the pain.
God, You love me so much, but having a relationship with You is not two-way like the relationships with people. Having a relationship with You is three-way.
God, I don't want to lose my spiritual mother just like others who have taken care of me before her. I don't want us to happen like my past.
God, I have already presented back myself to my spiritual mother and have found that isolating myself is wrong for the reason of protecting myself from her because I am not safe with her anymore. However, I am still isolating myself from her and from everyone.
All I want from her is to take back what she has said, but whatever is, whether she would take it back or not, God, I miss my spiritual mother, my Big Sister.
God, take care of my Big Sister.
God, I also pray to hurry up the times of healing for her because I am getting sicker. I don't like these stomachaches and frequent headaches.
She may have lost her trust in me, but I have lost my trust in her first. However, I still adore her and love her.
God, You are a God of relationships. You are not my God if I have no relationships. God bring us back together and I am sorry for the breaking of the bond You have brought to us. You have given me her; it is not I who bring me to her. You have brought me to her; it is not her who has led me to her. It is all Your work.
God, I am sorry.
Help me grow with You.
Help me to love with You.
Help me be overflowingly sufficient in You.
God, please be my God. Help me.
